Of course I got a positive OPK today, the ONE day I didn't want to. We can't catch a F**KING break!! Now I can't get the IUI this cycle b/c my RE doesn't have office hours on the weekend!! That is total bullshit!! This cycle was screwy from the beginning b/c of my doctor being on vacation for 2 weeks. I am pissed that we have to wait another cycle. I feel like I took Clomid and used digital OPK's for nothing. The only benefit is that I was uneasy with this cycle from the start b/c I wasn't being monitored, so now I don't have to feel like I wasted my time & money.
I guess we will just BD like normal (just in case) and relax for the rest of the cycle. The other silver lining is that now I "relax" since there is no real chance of us to get pregnant on our own.
How soon after you get a surge do you ovulate? I know the tests say 24-36 hours, but I feel like I have gotten positive OPK's in the past and not ovulated for 3-4 days later. If my temp doesn't rise by monday morning and I have EWCM do you think I should try and go in to have the IUI?
I am so tired of this guessing game!!
***UPDATE***
I cried more today when I got the positive OPK than I have in a LONG time. I didn't expect that to happen. It was the last straw for me. I have tried to be so strong about this. We all have our good days and bad, but for the most part I just try not to dwell on it, therefore not letting myself get depressed. I guess all those emotions caught up with me. I laid in bed and cried while DH and I talked. I said all the things I have been trying not to think about. It really upset me to actually say them out loud. I could blog about it all day long, but when it comes out of my mouth and I can hear the words it makes it real. I am usually the rock but today I took a break from my duties. I acknowledged what I am feeling.
- I am physically and emotionally tired of TTC.
- I am so tired of analyzing everything that my body does.
- I am tired of taking my temperature, POAS, checking my CM, checking the TP for the arrival of AF.
- Its unfair that some people can plan when they want to get pregnant.
- I am tired of living in 2 week increments, and playing the what if game.
- It's heartbreaking to want something so bad and try everything in your power to get it and still not be successful.
- My heart hurts and I want my turn. I am tired of waiting!!!
***ANOTHER UPDATE***
I am feeling better. I had my cry and I did yoga for an hour. That really helps me especially when I focus on the breathing. Lately when I take a deep breath, it feels tight in my chest b/c I am so stressed and upset. Yoga really helped and now I can take a deep breath!! I am going to continue that b/c I think it is good for my mind and body. Now I am going to cuddle up to my DH and watch a movie.
8 comments:
Have lots of sex and don't count this cycle out completely. You never know you might just get lucky. All is takes is one sperm. Good Luck!
BD BD BD! you NEVER know!!! i don't use opks so i can't help ya there... but i'd say if your temp hasn't gone up by monday, then it would be safe to say you probably hadn't O'd yet...
I just found your blog through a friends (I always get confused thinking I already commented when I see your name, lol) and just wanted to say that you shouldn't rule this cycle out because you never know what your body plans on doing! Have lots of sex hon! My OB said that woman 0 12-24 hours after they get a positive surge...I'm not really sure if he is right or not because I always hear different things. I also have heard woman 0ing a few days later, so you can always go to your dr and have him do an ultrasound. You never know with IF...anything is possible!
It is good to cry sometimes and to let it all out...we all have those days. TTC is one of the hardest things mentally, emotionally and physically for a woman and we will be better woman, mothers and friends because of it!
HUGS!
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::hugs:: I'm glad you got it all off your chest.
Aww I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. ALl of those things you wrote, I've felt too. I really hope this cycle still works out for you. ((HUGS))
I hope you're feeling better! I'm sorry you had such a rough day, but sometimes getting it all out there can help a bit. Hang in there!
I might have to try yoga - I know what you mean about the tight chest, but I couldn't figure out what to do about it.
Any new progress on this?
Hey hun, Im just catching up now. Im sorry for the rollercoaster ride, it just stinks. But as long as you O and have sex around it, a cycle is never a waste. Hang in there, thinking of you.
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