1st night of Gonal-F (stims)

Tonight I start stimming with Gonal-F!! I am excited and filled with hope that this is going to work for us. I am also anxious because there are so many big obstacles that we have overcome in the next 2-3 weeks that will determine if this IVF cycle does work.

This is my Gonal-F schedule:
March 31-April 1 - Gonal-F 300 IU's
April 2 - Gonal-F 225 IU's
April 3 - Gonal-F 150 IU's & Menopur 1 vial
April 4 - Gonal-F 150 IU's
April 5 - Gonal-F 75 IU's & Menopur 1 vial
April 6 - Ultrasound & E2


On a different note, I woke this morning in tears. I had a very vivid dream that rocked me to the core....

I was in an airport with DH and some of my family members and we were on our way home from a vacation. I realized that I didn't have a plane ticket. Of course, I freaked out and started to panic. A woman who worked for the airline tried to help me find a flight home but there were none except the one my family was on which was full! I felt so helpless and scared because I was stranded and had no control over the situation.

All of the sudden I was safe and sound back in my hometown. I was at my grandma's house and my dad standing on the front porch waiting for me. I immediately started crying and hugged him as tight as I could. At that moment I knew everything was OK.

As most of you know, my dad passed away 3 months ago which is why I was overcome with emotion when I woke up...his touch felt so real. I feel like this dream is representative of the helplessness I feel with IF and most recently IVF. It felt like he was telling me "you will be OK and I am here with you through this journey." As strange as this may seem, I really needed to "see" him and feel his presence.

Acupuncture

I just had a nice relaxing session at the acupuncturist office. He did a few different points today since I will be starting the stimming medication this week. I snuck my camera in so you can see what it looks like....

Acupuncture table

2 needles in each arm

7-9 needles in my lower legs (click to make picture big)

I start taking Gonal-F on Wednesday night!! I am so excited this is really happening!!

CD 1

AF was nice enough to arrive right on time!!!

DH and I (once again) high-fived, hugged, & jumped up and down when I started today (YES, we are easily amused)!

We are officially ready to begin IVF #1....eek!!!!

Baseline Ultrasound and E2

My baseline ultrasound went well this morning.

• My E2 was 8 which is "right where we want it to be".
• No cysts
• 8-10 follies on each ovary that will be contenders. There are other small ones but he thinks there will be 15-20 that will respond to the Gonal-F (stimming medication).

I told him I was concerned about taking Gonal-F for six days without a E2 or ultrasound because of OHSS. He insisted this is normal protocol and not to worry, especially since I'm not going to make a TON of eggs (30+). I am very happy with everything so far and feel that we have the best case scenario for the beggining of our IVF cycle. DH and I high-fived with excitement as the RE left the room!!

I also picked up my Gonal-F and HCG shot from the office today, so now I have all of my medication!!

I cross off each day on my calendar after I take my medication!!

Still no side effects...I am so thankful for that. Now I am waiting on AF to arrive this weekend. If she doesn't show by Monday I need to call the office. Come on AF...don't screw with me again!

No side effects (yet)

I am pleased to say that I have had no "noticeable" side effects from any of the 4 medications I have recently been taking....yay!!

Recent changes in my medications:

• I took my last BCP yesterday...hopefully AF will show in the next few days.
• Today my Lupron dose went from 10 units down to 5 units.
  

Upcoming appointments:

• Baseline E2 blood test tomorrow morning.
• Baseline ultrasound Thursday morning.

That's all for now......

Happy Spring!

Today is the 1st day of Spring...yay!! I feel like this winter lasted FOREVER. It is probably because I had a lot of bad things happen in the last few months, but I am ready to move forward. I am so excited that it is staying light outside longer, that the weather is nicer, and there are flowers beginning to bloom.

Today also marks the 1st time I have ever given myself an injection. Surprisingly my DH has always given me my IUI injections over the last few months. Since I will have injections daily for IVF during the next month, I figured I was going to have to suck it up and do it myself. This morning I gave myself the Lupron shot and it was a piece of cake....I'm a big girl now!!

Hope you are all having a good weekend!!

1st day of injections - Lupron

Some of my injectable meds were delivered yesterday.

1. Lupron (2 week supply)- $99
2. 2 vials on Menopur - $132
3. PIO shot (3 bottles - 15 ml) - $225
4. Lots of needles, alcohol swabs, & a sharps container - $0

The total for these injectable meds is $466 (this includes a $10 membership fee to IVP care to get cheaper prices). My stimulating medication (Gonal-F) that was donated was delivered to my RE's office and they will hold it until my next appointment.

This is what my breakfast will consist of for the 20 days!! Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal Vitamin, and some sort of substance.

I was tossing and turning all night in anticipation of starting my meds this morning. I wasn't nervous about the injection itself, the Lupron injection was actually painless, I just can't believe this is finally happening!! We have been preparing for so long and now it's finally here!!

Here's to hoping I don't get horrible side effects from my new medication.....

I'm better

After my "mini meltdown" on Friday, DH and I went to a trivia night and I was fine. I did sneak my first BCP at the table in front of 10 people but thankfully no one noticed. That night I ended up having definite spotting so I felt much better about starting the BCP. I will not be having a "real" period this cycle...just the spotting.

I have heard horror stories about the effects BCP's have on women and since I have never been on birth control in my life I was nervous. BUT....I am happy to say that I have no side effects (unless crying is one)!!!

I had my third acupuncture appointment today. Apparently my liver and spleen pulses are low, but my heart and lung pulses are great. He was asking me about my weekend and I told him I have been very busy getting 2 of my Dad's houses cleaned out and fixed up so we can put them on the market. It has been very stressful but they will be ready just in time for me to start Lupron, so I won't have the stress of that on my mind during IVF.

As soon as he put left the room I started crying!! I'm not sure if it was because we were talking about my dad or if it was the needle he had just placed in my foot that hurt!! He took it out and redid it and it felt much better. I just couldn't believe that I was crying during acupuncture. Has this ever happened to any of you? It only lasted a minute but it was hard to wipe the tears running down my face, with needles in my hands! Oh the joys of IF!

My meds are being delivered on Wednesday, and I will start Lupron on Thursday.

Off to a rocky start

That's what the nurse said to me this afternoon.....not exactly what I wanted to hear, but it's true.

I woke up this morning with cramps, ran to the bathroom and thought there was a tint of brown on the toilet paper. I was so excited that AF was coming that I e-mail my nurse. She said "Yahoo...now you don't have to do the Cetrotide injections and you can start the BCP's tonight."
I was happy with this answer, but then began to second guess that "brown spotting" because I didn't see it for the rest of the day. I e-mailed her again (I bet she is wishing she didn't have to deal with me) and told her about the disappearance of the spotting. She told me to go ahead and do the injections and then start BCP's tonight. Like most of you, I didn't understand what the purpose of Cetrotide was...I thought it was supposed to bring on AF, but now they wanted me to begin BCP too????

She ended up calling me and seemed a little annoyed that I was questioning her and the RE. I explained that I just wanted to make sure I knew what I was putting in my body and why. She was much more sweet as the conversation went on. The point of Cetrotide is to lower estrogen which helps resolve cysts. I had a cyst show up on my most recent ultrasound, but the RE is not concerned. It is a corpus luteum cyst where I ovulated from this month, but since I ovulated so late (CD 21) there is still remnants of it. This is also what might be keeping AF at bay, so hopefully these two injections will thin my lining and get rid of the small left over cyst. She assured me that I am not the first person this has happen to, and the RE would not let me do the April cycle if my body wasn't ready.

I started crying as soon as I hung up the phone. I felt better after she explained everything, but I just don't like this uneasy feeling so early in the game!! I am overwhelmed with emotion. I cried on and off for about 30 minutes and told DH I am scared. I know things aren't always going to go smoothly with IVF, but being off to a "rocky start" freaks me out a bit.


I even cried as DH was giving me the two injections. They didn't even hurt, I was just emotional from my conversation with the nurse and the reality that we are actually having to do IVF . I'm just having one of those days.

Two injection down a million more to go.....

AF...where are you?

I have cramps on and off, but still no AF. Once again I had to call my nurse who then ordered a beta and told me we would go from there. I had the blood test at 1:30pm and just got the call that it was negative....no big surprise. Now I am going to take two Cetr.otide injections (donated)tomorrow morning in the hopes this will bring on AF. If not, I will go in for another ultrasound on Monday morning. The RE and my nurse are still assuming I will be in April cycle, but I am getting nervous.

The injections are starting earlier than anticipated AND two shots in one day...who hoo!

Come on AF........you bitch!!!!

Still in limbo

I woke up early this morning hoping to see that AF had arrived...no such luck!! So I got ready and DH & I went to the RE for my ultrasound. I was so nervous and anxious that my legs were shaking in the stirrups. I was afraid that Dr. A was going to tell us that our IVF cycle would be postponed till May.

He told me my lining is still thick (no surprise to me), and that we need AF to show. I told him I have cramps and that it should happen soon. He saw lots of follies and said everything else looks good. He reassured me that we will still be able to do the April cycle, but depending on when AF shows we might have to change my meds. I felt so much better after hearing that we won't have to wait till May.

He said he would talk to my IVF nurse and she would call me later. As we were getting ready to leave the nurse stopped us and took us back to her office. I was so happy we didn't have to wait all day to hear the plan of action.

If AF doesn't show by Thursday I will have to take an expensive medication that brings it on. I also might be skipping BCP all together, but I might have to do Lupron injections longer. At this point the worst case scenario is not bad and won't keep us from cycling in April so I am OK with what ever happens. DH and I have taken a big sign of relief, but will feel much better when AF arrives. What a roller coast this is!!!

I also got an e-mail from my nurse shortly after leaving this morning "The eagle has landed—your meds are here and safely tucked away in the fridge"!!

Everything else is in order......now AF just needs to get on board!!!

Waiting on AF

I took my last Provera pill on Friday. My IVF nurse told me to e-mail her if I hadn't started by today (Monday). Well, no AF today!! I have to be on BCP by Wednesday at the VERY latest, so if I haven't started by tomorrow morning I have to go to the RE for an ultrasound.

They will be looking for two things:

1. Rule out an ovarian cyst that would keep me from starting my period
2. Thin lining indicating that I might not have a period, and he would then feel comfortable with going ahead and starting you on the pill

I don't think either one of these pertain to me because I am only on CD 31. It is not out of the ordinary that I haven't started so now I am worried that my lining will still be thick (waiting for AF) and I will have to postpone my IVF cycle!! For those of you who have taken Provera, how long did it take for AF to show?

I did acupuncture today and mentioned that I am waiting on AF, so he used the needles in places that increase blood flow. This should help AF show soon. This is so unnerving!

Oral IVF meds

I got all of my oral IVF meds for a lot cheaper than I was expecting!! I have prescription insurance it just doesn't cover IF medication, but these oral medications are covered. I went to the Walmart pharmacy for:

1. Provera - $4
2. BCP's - $5
3. Prenatal Vitamins - $5
4. Dex (steroid) - $5
5. Z-pack (antibiotic) - $5

I've spent a total of $24 so far for 5 medications!!! My Gonal-F & HCG are being donated through the Compassion Care program. I will be paying for Lupron ($99), Menopur ( $132), PIO shot ( ?), & Endometrin suppositories ( ?). I feel so lucky that we are only going to have to spend less than $500 out of pocket for meds!! Next week I should get the call from IVP (Walgreens specialty pharmacy) to order my injectable meds and will hopefully have them in my possession shortly there after.

Tonight I will take my last Provera pill. AF should arrive in the next couple days, and then I will start BCP's.....which is the official start of my IVF cycle.

IVF calendar & Acupunture

DH & I met with my nurse coordinator Peggy yesterday to go over my IVF calendar. I thought that since I am doing a low-stim cycle that I wouldn't be on SO many meds!!! From now until ET I will be taking a total of 11 different medications! That is a little overwhelming even though I won't be taking all of them at the same time. She thoroughly explained each medication's purpose and how to administer it.

As she was explaining the ER and ET she said "Then when you get the positive beta we will set up your ultrasound and see if you have one baby or two"!!! I was thrilled that she was so positive and that I could very well be pregnant next month!! I was overcome with emotion, but (for once) didn't cry.

I need to be on BCP by March 10th if I want to be in the April cycle. My CD 1 was Feb 6th, but I just ovulated on CD 23 so I need to take Provera to speed up AF, so that I can make the BCP cut-off. I have never been on BCP's so it feels weird to be taking them to try and get pregnant. I took my first Provera pill last night and will continue for 5 days, then AF should arrive shortly there after.

Before we left the office I made my appointment for my baseline ultrasound and the CD 9 ultrasound already!! I am excited because this is starting to feel so real!!

I then went to my 1st acupuncture appointment. Christine (acupuncturist) and her husband (chiropractor/acupuncturist) own this clinic. They have also dealt with infertility so in a strange way that is comforting. She took my into a private room, asked lots of questions and then I laid down on the (massage) table. She put a total of 15 needles into my body. I only felt a little sting as she was putting in the needles, but then I didn't feel a thing. She turned off the lights and I was left to relax for 30 minutes. I am going to go once a week throughout my IVF cycle so my body stays relaxed.

I'm now awaiting AF....