I have so many random thoughts that I just need to get out.....
- I recently realized that if I get pregnant in the next month or two I will have an April or May baby...which is what I always wanted. BUT...I planned on having an 2009 baby. I will take what I can get but it is kind of sad that this time last year I was so excited about TTC and now I am a little bitter & I still have no baby!! On the same note, if I would have gotten pregnant on our first try I would have a 5 month old right now.
- DH and I were talking last night about "our" baby. He was speaking so fondly of all the fun things to come, but I can't even picture "our" baby anymore. This 15 months of TTC has left me feeling like it will never happen. It makes me sad that all the excitement is gone.
- As much as I want to get pregnant, I am also terrified!! I hadn't really thought past the positive pregnancy test. I will actually have to "push" this baby out...scary!! LOL!!
- Lately, it has been hard for me to keep up with all the IF blogs I read. Its like a second job!! I love reading them b/c they give me comfort, but sometimes I don't have the time to set aside to read them ALL. I feel guilty that I don't have time to comment, but want you to know that I still think about you daily.
I know that those were all negative thoughts, which is why I had to get them off of my mind. I really am looking forward to next week's IUI!! I will let you know how the ultrasound goes on monday. Thanks for listening to "Negative Nelly" !!
9 comments:
Don't apologize for your honesty! It looks like we have been trying the same amount of time, and I have experienced every single one of those thoughts! If someone had told me last summer that I still wouldn't be pregnant this summer, I would have been so sad! My ignorance in TTC was temporary bliss. It's okay to be a Negative Nelly or a Bitter Betty when you're in the company of IFers!!! Stay strong!
don't feel bad... it's hard to keep up w/all the blogs!!!
i feel EXACTLY like you! it's funny how similar we are... i think we'd be great IRL friends!!!
Its kind of scary feeling when you can't picture "your baby" anymore. Don't worry you're not alone. Sometimes the hope fades, but its always there. The pain of infertility is just blocking all the positive thoughts right now. ((hugs))
~ICLW~
Happy ICLW!
It's good to get those thoughts out of your head. It always makes me feel better when I do it. They can't bounce around in there bothering when they are out on my blog.
Good luck with your IUI! Sending you lots of love!
*HUGS*
Have always wanted a December baby myself....but this does not work like that! Have been in the reins for almost five years now...
Good Luck to you!
ICLW
We all have days when we need to purge the negative from our thoughts. Please don't feel the need to apologize for being normal. :) Blessings on your IUI!
~ICLW
I'm with you sister! I feel the same way about TTC and keeping up with blogs especially now that I'm in school.
I always wanted a 2009 baby to be born in September, so we could go through the holidays together. I'm now very excited about an April baby. We will enjoy the summers in doors together and he/she will be alert for the holidays. In our game, there is no "perfect time" becuase we'll never get it.
babyparamore.blogspot.com
My old plans seem so quaint now. I used to be excited about having a baby at age 27 because I like the number 27. Instead, my babies will be born right around my 34th birthday. And, I will love them even more thanks to the long wait and the hard work to get them.
Good luck to you.
ICLW
Glad I made you laugh...the point of TTC is for our hubby's to impregnate us, lol! :)
babyparamore.blogspot.com
Post a Comment