I am not pregnant, AF showed yesterday. As DH and I were eating dinner on Friday night talking about out future children I felt “the” cramps. I was so pissed because I knew AF was on her way, but I just brushed it off.
Saturday morning I decided to take a $ store test hoping that “the” cramps were just a fluke. The test came back stark white…NEGATIVE!! I tried to hide all of this from DH because I didn’t want to upset him until AF actually arrived, but apparently he could see it written all over my face. I fessed up that the test was negative and I broke down. We laid in bed and he held me while I cried. We had a “why us” moment and talked about our next step.
I sulked for 30 minutes and then we watched a Christmas movie together. DH expected the negative test to ruin our vacation, but we decided not to let it. We got out of bed after the movie and continued to have a good time in Kansas City.
Crown center
Country Club Plaza all lit up!! 
DH told me how proud of me he is that I have been dealing with infertility surprisingly well considering it has been going on for 20 months!! He praised me for my resilience month after month, and I praised him for being my rock. We realized that 75% of the time we have been married has been spent dealing with infertility (20/27 months)!!! That is a heavy weight for a new marriage, but I am proud to say that we have a great marriage. I hate that we have to go through this but we are stronger because of it.
I am sad that I didn't get the outcome I had hoped for, but I am moving on and will be calling my RE in the morning to find out the next step...
19 comments:
Oh hun I am so sorry. You have an absolutely amazing attitude and it will pay of someday. I just hope and pray it will be soon for you. ((HUGS))
Jessica, that f'ing sucks. I'm so sorry that AF showed, but good for you for not letting her ruin your vacation.
I'm so glad dh is your rock, and that your marriage is holding strong. It sure can make things difficult. Although we've had our weak points I can say wholeheartedly that IF has made us a stronger couple as well.
I want to thank you for all of your incredibly thoughtful and supportive comments. They really mean a lot.
Hugs.
I'm so sorry. ::BIG HUGS::I hope that your RE will give you a good plan moving forward.
I'm so sorry to hear about another BFN. It sounds like you handled it so well, and were able to enjoy your time in Kansas City! You are lucky to have such a caring, supportive hubby..
I'm so sorry Jess. I know how much it hurts to get a negative test and to have AF visit. I'm so proud of you and your hubby, you are such a strong, beautiful couple. Ican't wait to hear what the RE says.
I'm really glad you guys are still enjoying your vacation despite the crappy news.
I am sorry she showed up, especially during your vacation. However, I'm glad you were able to keep going and enjoy your time.
so sorry to hear about AF. I cannot believe how similar our stories are. We need to swap emails to compare stories.
I'm sorry AF showed up! But I'm glad you guys still had a great time. Let us know what the RE says.
I'm so sorry!! *hugs*
So so sorry for you. I am also amazed with your resiliency and think you are both acknowledging the grief and dealing with it- which is good. I hope your next step has a better result. And Thank God for our wonderful DH's! Glad you have such a good one :)
I am so very sorry, that just sucks- all of it. I really wish you werent going through this but admire how strong you are and how supportive your husband is. Those two things WILL get you through this, I promise you that. Hang in there, you are always in my thoughts.
Oh that sucks!!!! :-( I'm so sorry AF had to show but am super proud of you guys for not letting it ruin your so romantic get away!!! :-)
Can't wait to hear what the RE says... :-) Gotta inform me of that one!
i'm so, so sorry. that just sucks. (((hugs)))
I'm so sorry. :( I hope you had a good time on your trip despite the negative. Those pictures are beautiful!
And I know what you mean about making your marriage tougher. We've been TTC since our wedding day, so no part of our marriage has been without infertility. Sometimes I think, "That sucks." But most marriages aren't tested this early on, and I know that if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything. I'm sure you and DH feel the same way. :)
Hugs. Let us know what the RE says.
Im so sorry AF has arrived:(
I know exactly what you mean about your marriage though. We were only married for under 6 months when we started trying. But it WILL make you much stronger.
Praying for you!
hugs
I'm so sorry. I know all this doesn't make sense to us...but one day it will. I pray that 2010 will be a blessed year for both of us!
We're getting ready to start ivf in Jan.
hisplannotmine.blogspot.com
I'm very sorry. This never gets easier but I'm glad you have such a supportive husband by your side, it makes all the difference.
The pics are really great by the way, hope you continue to have a great time together. Hang in there as much as you can, big big hugs.
I'm sorry but kudos to you for not letting it ruin your trip!
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