It's cloudy and dreary outside, and also inside my head. I am not feeling hopeful at all!! Everything went well with the IUI. This is actually our best chance yet since I have two eggs, but I can't even pretend to act hopeful. I told the RE this better be the last time I see him under these circumstances, can you believe I threatened my Dr...LOL!!
If I believed in "signs" I would think I was going to get pregnant this time b/c everything has gone well and while we were in the elevator after the IUI a man got on with 9 month old twins. Unfortunately after 4 IUI's and 17 cycles I don't believe in "signs" anymore.
I haven't felt this down in a long time. It's not only TTC but my hours at work are being cut because of the economy. Normally I would just go get another job, but I am hoping to be pregnant ASAP and then plan on being a stay at home mom. It would be very difficult to ask someone to hire me for maybe only 7-8 months. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. If we would have gotten pregnant the first few months of trying I wouldn't even have to worry about this because I would have a baby at home already.
I feel so lost in my life right now. I am defeated, but will continue to move forward towards my goal of having a baby because I have no other choice!!
*UPDATE*
I just got a phone call from a friend announcing her pregnancy!! She is already 11 weeks and has been dreading calling me. How ironic that she decided to call me TODAY!! I hate that I am that girl that people have to tip toe around because they don't know how I am going to react to the news. What a crappy day!!!
Friday, September 25, 2009
*UPDATED* Hopelessness
Posted by Jessica at 9:51 AM
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17 comments:
Im glad your IUI went good, Im thinking of you!
Im sorry you feel the hopelessness that goes along with the journey. I think its ok to feel down about it (and everything else going on) once in awhile- you cant just pretend everything is ok. Just know there is light at the end of the tunnel and everything you are going through will be worth it. Hang in there!
I'm sorry you're feeling down today- I hope you get a pick-me-up soon!! I'll be praying for you- if this cycle (clomid) doesn't work, we'll be doing follistim next cycle!!
((hugs)) I'm so sorry your feeling down today. But I am very hopeful that this is going to be your lucky cycle.
Oh man do I know where you're at right now. I feel the same exact way. It sucks, and I'm sorry you're feeling so down.
I threatened my doctor on my last IUI as well! Glad to hear I'm not the only one. I'm pretty sure #3didn't work for me. So here's to #4 doing the trick for both of us.
Sorry you're feeling crappy. TTC sucks. Hopelessness always creeps in at the craziest times and robs you of happiness. I know exactly how you feel!
Glad IUI went well. Good luck & stay strong! Hugs!
I hope your day improves and sorry you're feeling down. The weather is no help is it?
Hang in there!
I get the tip toe thing too. I think it comes with infertility. I remember 9 months ago when my cousin didn't want to tell me, guess what she had her baby on tuesday and I'm still not pregnant. Good luck this cycle, I hope it is a sign for you.
I have not only gotten the tip toe, but I've had people full on avoid me. It sucks. I'm sorry.
When it rains, it pours huh?
((more hugs)) Hang in there. Maybe a really nice dinner with WAY too much wine is in order tonight?
I'm so sorry honey! I hate seeing you sad and down but it happens. It is hard to not fall down while going through all of this (I blame it on the drugs, I cried all week due to clomid). I am praying like a mad woman that this is your cycle and that in 9 months, you will have your baby!
I'm sorry about your friend. Being IF with a world of fertiles is hard!
babyparamore.blogspot.com
*hugs* I'm sorry your having a hard day. I'm glad to hear your IUI went well and hopefully you will get your positive result at the end. *fingers crossed for you*
I know what you're feeling, we're stuck in the in-between. It's so hard to plan for the future when you don't know when - or if ever - things will start to happen.
And may I just say - your husband is amazing! What an awesome guy!
Im happy that your IUI went well! Thats awesome.
IF brings so many emotions and of course dealing with everyday stress on top of that can put anyone into a bit of a down stage. I have been there so so so many times the past two years. All I can say is that it will pass. Hopefully you will get some great news soon(BFP) but if not remember that your not alone. We are all here thinking of you.
((hugs))
I'm praying really hard for you, glad the IUI went well. I hope this is it for you! Sorry you've been having a tough time, this whole thing is beyond frustrating.
ugh. i'm so sorry about that phone call. they never get easier.
Good to hear of the IUI news...I'm so sorry to hear that you are down. I just wanted to let you know that Wellsphere's HealthBlogger Network has many people who are in a similar situation as you are. If you would like to share your experience and help others cope or get some advice and support from others, I would encourage you to take a look at http://www.wellsphere.com/health-blogger, and to consider applying to join the HealthBlogger Network... in our Pregnancy & fertility community
If you need any assistance, please feel free to email me at hua [at] wellsphere [dot] com.
Best regards,
Hua
Director of Blogger Networks
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